It’s a tough job but somebody had to do it.
I immediately went to Sego Lily’s website to read the full description of this fascinating treatment and learned they don’t offer a Body Margarine Sprinkle on the menu (probably because then everyone would be thinking, “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”) but it did say that part of the treatment includes a full body massage! Massage too? Okay I am in!!! The deal is sealed! (Or drenched or spread or whatever!)
Bring on the butta baby!
Now for someone that has only had ONE massage in her entire life, (belly massages from wanna-be drill sergeant nurses two hours after giving birth – five different times – DO NOT COUNT!) the word excitement just doesn’t cut it! I was in a state of extreme intense anticipation!
The timing couldn’t have been better. Between the time I scheduled my appointment and the time it rolled around, I had been literally drenched (even smothered!) to my eyeballs in – no not butter – but STRESS!!! It goes without saying I was more than ready to see if my first visit would fulfill Sego Lily’s claim to renew my mind, body, AND spirit.
If there was anyone to give it the test that day, it was ME! But I admit I was somewhat skeptical considering NO chocolate was involved in the process. Not even cocoa butter!
As I entered the spa weighed down with my heavy load of burdens, I was greeted by my wonderful masseuse, Nichole, who reached out and cheerfully took them from me.
I more than willingly handed them over to her, fully intending to retrieve them once again upon my departure.
Upon my arrival inside the spa, the beautiful and peaceful surroundings made me quickly forget all about that bag of burdens that I entered with. I was warmly welcomed by the Sego Lily staff and shown around by Nichole. What an escape I was feeling already! I felt I had entered into a new realm for a time. Aaaaaah…….
The exhilarating aromas (aromatherapy at it’s finest!) and the tranquil ambiance quickly took their affect.
As the mother of five boys, I was not used to this. I am usually surrounded by loud noises, rambunctious wrestling, fermenting dirty socks, smelly gym shoes, sweaty uniforms, and many other unknown fragrances, that truth be told, I prefer NOT to know what they are OR where they came from! Ignorance IS bliss when living with boys.
No nasty aromas at Sego Lily. Not a one. Just the intoxicating scent of lavender and mint and eucalyptus permeating everywhere. It was worth walking inside just to give my olfactory receptors a thrill.
I was led to the locker room, which trust me folks is unlike ANY locker room this mother of all boys has ever seen (not that I frequent male locker rooms or anything!). Inside my personal locker was a luxuriously soft and comfortable robe! Once that baby went on, I felt like I had just been crowned Queen and was ready to be spoiled. Nichole motioned for me to follow her, which I eagerly did, when suddenly these words flew out of my mouth:
“Yes, my lady, I come hither. Wither thou goest I will go, for I am in much need of a frolicking pamper fest consisting of being drencheth in butter. I do fear madness will befall me if I don’t receive it heretofore!”
Wow! That royal feeling seeped inside quick!
Even before I was inside my room, I was completely relaxed. The calming music softly playing in the background along with the serene sound of water flowing and dimmed lights made it impossible not to be. I was ready to be royally buttered pampered!
I was not disappointed. The butter cream was so luxuriating and so intensely wonderful that I swear my body just slurped it up on the spot! Honey Dew Body Butter…mmm… Honey do more! Please! Never stop!”, was consuming my thoughts! The combination of that and the massage…OH THE MASSAGE! I thought I had died and gone to saturated fats heaven!
Nichole’s magic hands and fingers found all the right places my stress was hiding. Against every instinct in my core, I fell into an almost vegetative oil state. I wasn’t asleep… heck I’m not that relaxed when I’m snoozing. But I wasn’t quite with it either.
After being lavishly drenched in butter I was wrapped up in a plastic cocoon basting blissfully while given the most incredible neck massage known to woman! I emerged from my cocoon – not a butterfly – but a royal Queen Bee!
Now I can NOT believe I am about to say this, BUT… this experience was even BETTER than chocolate! I know, I know….that sounds like blasphemy especially coming from me – the founder of Chocoholics Un-anonymous. But this truly surpassed any chocolate experience even I’ve ever known. Yes, better than any chocolate morsel that has ever passed through my lips en route to my hips, and yet this was 100% calorie free! Whoever heard of drenching anything with butter without inducing severe guilt laden calories?
Hmm…I wonder if they’ve considered doing a Cocoa Butter Drench too?
This healthy indulgence did more than fully RENEW my mind, body, and spirit! It soothed my soul, strengthened my body, and clarified my mind, just as promised. I was a new woman as I departed! My experience at Sego Lily lived up to it’s claim and definitely quenched my body’s thirst for serenity in this chaotic world! My bag of burdens remained behind. An enormous weight was lifted!
As I flitted lightly out the door of that tranquil world inside Sego Lily, I felt completely ready to take on the world again… and with a new crown to boot! After all that pampering and drenching in butter, I felt like royalty, a real Dairy Queen!
Not trying to butter you up… nope! BUT if you are in need of a vacay from your stress and burdens then allow Sego Lily to do the buttering up! They are really good at it!!! As always the proof is in the pudding butter!!!